We know some of us do it, but we just can't help it, as it's just so fabulous. Do you know what we are talking about? Yes - kneading and suckling. We thought we ought to address this as it seems to be a bit of a taboo subject in the cat world and we don't like discussing it. But we thought: this is 2021 and we live in a more transparent world now, so we must talk about things more, for our mental health and wellbeing.

We did bring it up at our last catnip party, when our inhibitions were very low and most of us spilled the beans. Both Mimi and Ronnie say they enjoy it, but as Mimi is quite old her saliva is drying up and she's not that bothered anymore.

We appreciate this can be quite an embarrassing habit as we are now three and should have grown out of this. Our mother is long gone and she is just a very faint memory, but our new human mother is a good replacement, although we know she doesn't have any milk and we just get fed twice per day with grown-up food.

So going back to when we were very small and lived with our mum and brothers and sisters. She would boss us around and we would all fight for the best spot in our big bed. I (Mack) always waited patiently as George and the others wrestled to get to mum's teats. There our breakfast, lunch and dinner would be provided, on a rota basis throughout the day. Mum would be in charge, and believe me, we knew about it. We would knead and knead until the milk flowed through. Dribbling, purring and kneading - no wonder our poor mother got fed up with all of that and we had to leave. But as us cats cannot display affection as well as humans, some of us still do this, especially if there's a lovely wooly blanket or piece of clothing to hand, whilst she's sitting watching TV or doing whatever she does.

Just having that bit of blanket in my mouth is so amazing and brings back so many memories of when I was a kitten. I almost go into a hallucinated trance and can spend hours doing it, if allowed. My favourite is a fluffy blanket which lays on the sofa and she keeps threatening to wash it or throw it in the bin. George doesn't use a blanket and just prefers to dribble directly onto the human - totally disgusting. Also painful for her as he has very sharp claws and not many layers to work with.

I know we moan about her, but we are showing her our love whilst doing this and we are not doing some perverted activity. Sometimes we do it to visitors, but this is done with caution and it usually results in something good or bad. Although we hate most visitors so it wouldn't get that far anyway.

She bought us some cat milk once which was amazing as we can't have their cows' milk, but we don't see that very often. Maybe a good idea if she actually put the milk somewhere near her so we could have the full experience re-enacted, but that suggestion did not go down well.

So, be open about this, accept the habit and don't be embarrassed. Remember, there are a lot of things those humans do which we could say a great deal about, but we will leave that there for now.